Monday, January 05, 2009
the most painful
...moment of my 2008.
...tragedy in my family.
...way to lose someone you love.
...way to say goodbye.
We miss you Ice. YOu made my brother happy, he makes us happy, therefore, you make us happy.
We won't forget your little trinkets for us on Christmas, your steady, cheery personality that made my brother the happy, positive person that he is. Your timid and sincere wave, your voice and your smile and your genuine laugh.
I will never forget the look you gave Boggs when he was late to meet you at his graduation. It was like I had a peak of how truly you cared for him. When you woke up early in the morning, left your class so that you can prepared and look extra-special for him that day in a lovely dress and make-up. ah, Love's loss. Now all he wears is black, goes to your tomb everyday, and when he smiles, something is missing... He is my brother, really close to my heart and it pierces me everytime I think that his joy would never be complete.
Everything was so sudden, so unfair. Until now nothing about what happened to you seems justifiable. We always keep saying, "there's a reason for everything," but still, no explanation seems good enough. Like the mind won't accept, and the heart refuses to listen. For a while, faith didn't stand a chance on me. The experience was so painful its numbing; heartbreaking, a thousand times over.
I see your face in your mother's...everytime I look at her. How it lights up. Poor Tita, Poor Kuya LA. Poor Boggs. Thinking about them shatters my heart, over and over again.
Everytime I think of you I still want to cry.
But I know, you want all of us to move on, and think of you with loving memory. And we will try, for you. Until its not as painful anymore.
But we will never forget you. You are deeply loved by us.
another adventure for COSMOGIRL!
