Friday, May 18, 2007
On goodbye, leaving, holding on, letting go and moving on... (First of a series)I haven't written here in a long time...Yeah. And I meant to write this entry for about five months now. So i reckoned I should take after former officemate Jaja (yes, there's no delaying gratification) and post series of entries, so that it won't clog my thoughts, thus, blocking my mind everytime I take a chance at blogging.
This is the one about WORK. but it's really more than that when you think about it. With
leaving and goodbye, I meant to separate these two, but I don't know which part of my sharings are for leaving, and goodbye. Because sometimes, people leave without saying goodbye. Maybe because they're not ready to let go yet, they're not ready to leave.
And there are also some who just didn't have the chance to say goodbye. Someone robbed them the opportunity of closing this chapter which makes it so iffin hard, not just for them, but also for the people they're leaving behind. Just like my former bosses and colleagues.
Yes, it has been five months since they left. In a snap, they were instructed to leave the premises, their jobs, us. I wouldn't wanna go back to the fateful day, it's just so hard and confusing on my part. Moving on has a lot to do with this. Then Karen followed, then Jaja, and although hers was a different case, one that's most understandable and less-complicated of all, Rio left as well. I guess it just pains me that they never got the chance to say goodbye, they never told us what to do next (except for Rio where she had that chance), and most of all,
I didn't take the chance to say goodbye to them (also except with Rio). And holding on has a lot to do with this area.
So let's move on to the part called holding on. How contradicting is that? Pretty much, holding on led me to delaying gratification intended for my colleagues, mentors. When they left, I didn't wanna accept it. I held on to the chance that they might still come back.
Taking them away just like that seemed so wrong that I believed they'd still find their way back. I held on to that for so long until I lost my chance. I never took the chance to text them, ask them how they are, thank them for everything they taught me. For never leaving me out of place, for guiding me with things I needed to know about this job. I guess most of the things I know about running this thing, I learned from them.
It's painful to watch them leave, and not knowing where you stand after. This feeling of ungratefulness, to set thanking them aside, for how many months, was because I was holding on, crossing my fingers that things will shape up for us, and I didn't need to say goodbye. But apparently, there was no use holding on. Because whether I liked it or not, I had to move on.
Now, now, I realized that all the credit for delaying gratification shouldn't go to the 'holding on' part. Moving on was partly to blame also. And just as goodbye is inseparable to leaving, so is moving on to letting go. After they left, we just couldn't let everything crumble, we're not a small company after all, and what we do mattered to a lot of people. So all of us left just needed to step up. Before I knew it, there wasn't anymore time to wallow and look back. There was no time to take a breather and digest everything that happened. Everything's about moving on, looking forward, getting things done.
Coz whether we like it or not, they're not there anymore. So we had no choice but to let it go. I remember feeling irritated at people trying to brainwash others, of "what really happened." Of stating the reasons of their termination. I used to cringe at the sight of them talking about it. But again, amidst everything, they're gone. The ones who had to leave, and the one who made them leave. I just had to let it go. And we just had to prove that we are gonna be okay. There was no room for complaints (okay, there's a little room for ranting), just making sure we have everything covered, because our clients were counting on us, because we believed in our programs, and because we love this network we work in.
We are after all, ABS-CBN's PR Group. Because nice and accomodating as they are, a scoop is still a scoop for the press. How we'd handle this crisis would reflect on the network.
So moving on was a decision we had to do. We let go and moved on, stuck together until our new boss and managers came in. We got out of the rut we were stuck in for a while, gracefully.
Now I believe we're moving forward. And I guess that goes for all of us. I heard that we all have rockin' jobs now, which is good. I bumped into Ms. Peachy and Ms. Leah two weeks ago, and it felt good to see that the both of them have moved on, and when we talked and Ms. Leah hugged me, it felt good. It's always comforting to get a hug from a friend, and someone you look up to. It's just that I have gotten so busy and was pre-occupied with work, that texting them, thanking them just flew out of my mind. Well, it pops up every now then, but something happens and I have to do it coz it's urgent. Anyways, I meant to do it sooner, but I guess it's never too late to show appreciation and be grateful to people...
So now, whether or not they're gonna be reading it,
I want to express my thanks to them. My orig PR family: Ms. Leah, Ms. Peachy, Kuya Gian, Ate Karen, Jaja and Rio. They taught me almost everything about PR,
na baon-baon ko ngayon. Yes, it's all good now. I've learned to love my new officemates, they're my family too, but my orig PR family will always have a place in my heart, they're irreplaceable, because I never had a dull moment with them, and they were the ones who welcomed me to the Kapamilya Station with open arms. The videoke night, bashing sessions, 9501 and Pixie's moments, will remain priceless to me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!Thanks as well to our Lola. She was fierce, she was harsh, but in all fairness, we learned from all of it. Especially me. She taught me to "be proactive". I used to be so scared of her. But I guess if she didn't push us to the limits, we wouldn't have been the better individuals we are now. I wouldn't have been this person if it wasn't for her.
Now that we've all moved on, I wish you well in all your endeavors, I'm sure you'll all be successful. Hey, you ta
ught me the ropes after all ;)
and that ends the first part of my series :))
another adventure for COSMOGIRL!
