Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I'm super confused right now. I have been offered a job at a great company. BUT I am thinking about declining it.My parents are disappointed now, lalo na my dad who helped me get in at that company. In a way, they have a point. It's the largest network in the country, and people, mass media graduates my age would do anything to have that job. And here I am putting it in the dumps.
It's just that, I know myself. I know I wouldn't be able to commit super long hours of work (read:editing til morning and weekends and holidays) to write about something that doesn't quite interest me. Aside from that, I can take the work, but not the aftermath. I would like to picture happy, beautiful faces in my sleep, not the faces and bodies of corpses haunting me.
I have to quit while I still can. I'm never the type to decline people, you know. But I have to do it now, because I don't want to get their hopes up and then quit in the middle of work and eventually leave them hanging.
My whole family thinks I'm crazy, my brothers think I'm letting a great opportunity pass and worse, my dad thinks I'm just getting lazy to work considering that I'm going to Davao for the weekend for the YFC International Leader's Conference. But believe me, that's not it. If I love the job, I would be there all the time. Which leads me...
It's only my sister who can understand me now. She tells them that I did the right thing. She agrees with me na sayang naman if I force myself into it when I know I'm not gonna be happy with it. We really think alike. Or maybe she just wants me to get the editorial assistant job at our fave magazine. But I asked her, what if I don't get in at Candy? Sabi naman niya, it's ok raw, basta wag na dun sa ngayon, other opportunities will come. So there.
And yeah I guess, I'm still clinging to my dream company, the name I mentioned earlier. I didn't want to accept the job with the network, because I really hope they'll call me. I don't want to give up my lifelong dream for a job that I'm not even happy about.
Haay...I'm really confused. What do you guys think?
another adventure for COSMOGIRL!
